BlawuGH NyumBAh TRae33

It was a dark and stormy night in Berlin, New Mexico.

A man with one leg and an eye patch stated “a storms a brewing” and a black cat shuffled across the scene.

At his small cottage grove, Jack Lelly was tending his garden, preparing it for the torrential downpour that was coming. As he warned his plants of the coming storm he was struck by large drops of rain, and quickly ran inside. As he went to his fireplace to kindle, his wife, weighing in at a whopping 320 pounds, at a height of 6’5”, Urethra “StrongWoman” Bertha, yelled at him to make her dinner. He ardently scrambled into the kitchen and got to work. Much time passed, and after Urethra had eaten six chickens and a ham, and Jack Lelly had gotten his dose of table scraps, she passed into a deep slumber her bed, making sure Jack knew that he was sleeping on the floor tonight, partly because she had gas, and partly because its HER bed. Jack went about cleaning the house, as rain dripped about and the fog outside created an eerie atmosphere, one that would be perfect for a horror story… just saying. He eventually plopped down in front of the fire, which had dimmed to a light glow, reminiscent of a sunset. He quickly dozed off after making sure there were no monsters under his bed. At first he thought it superfluous, but did it anyways, cause he was a pansy.

It was wet, damp, dark, and smelled of armpit and Jack quickly became awake. He was outside, just a few feet from his house, and as his eyes began to adjust to the lighting, he saw a large figure.

“Bertha?” He asked the figure. No response.

“I’m sorry, did I forget to clean your feet again?” No response.

He rubbed his eyes for some added clarity. As he opened them, there it was. His plants, all at least six feet tall, were bent over him, menacing at them with their leaves and branches.

“What the f—“ He was cut short as his petunias threw him across the street.

“What’s going on?” Somewhere a wolf cried boy, and the man in the moon winked.

“Were pissed god dammit!” Said the plants. “You forgot to cover us up, its effin’ cold out here!”

“I’m so sorry, please don’t hurt me!” Jack yelled, weeping all over his blouse the whole time.

“Nahh, we too real for all that.” The plants said. “But we are disappointed, you put so much more effort in to pleasing that wife of yours, so if you want your life to be spared, you will KILL HER.”

“NO! Anything but harming my beautiful Urethra!” Jack cried out. “My darling Urethra is such a huge part of my life, the way I tickle her awake in the morning, and wash her every night!"

“That was just plain gross.” The plants shuddered. “But seriously, kill her, or I’ll break you in half like twig.”

“Ok… I’ll do it. Just don’t hurt me, I’m too petite for all that.” Jack whimpered.

So he went into the kitchen, grabbed a knife and went into Urethra’s room. She was awake, and claimed that Jack was trying to kill her and quickly drop kicked him into the fire. The plants laughed, but were covered with concrete later that week to make room for Urethra’s new weightlifting station. THE END.

BLAUGH NUMBAH TUUUE

Michele Bachmann caught in torrential downpour, dies instantly

Late last Tuesday night, Michele Bachmann was taking a walk with the mayor of St. Paul, discussing their plans on strengthening their border security for 2012, between Minnesota and Canada, when it suddenly started to rain. Eyewitness’s told the press that she began to scream loudly, turned green, and then melted, only leaving a pile of clothes and surprisingly enough, a pointy black hat. Water in the area was quickly brought to a nearby hospital, but Michele could not be resurrected. Many of the Republican Parties major political leaders have made some comments on her passing, as well as some ideas as to why or who killed Senator Bachmann. Glenn Beck issued a statement soon after Bachmann’s passing, stating “The passing of Michele Bachmann is a truly sad subject, but I would like to bring light to a more pressing matter, finding the men who did this, namely Osama Bin Laden and his rag tag band of followers!” Sarah Palin could not be reached for comment, as she is still in critical condition after a house had fallen on her earlier in the month. Riot squads are still working diligently to quell the swarms of midgets who have been all over Alaska singing and dancing sense Mrs. Palin was hospitalized. The Democratic Party has been shunned from the media for their rash claiming that Bachmann was some kind of “Witch” and was linked to some super secret program or society of some kind called “O.Z.” Their national support has dwindled in the last couple weeks as reports of Obama supports have disappeared mysteriously and claims of “flying primates” have landed many others in insane asylums. So far only one arrest has been made, Hillary “Glinda” Clinton was arrested because of evidence linking her to the house that had fallen on Mrs. Palin, and also she is believed to have stolen a pair of shoes of Sarah Palin’s feet. She’s is currently being transported on Interstate “Yellow Brick” by top men, codenamed “Scarecrow” “Tin Man” and “Cowardly Lion” and is on her way to face the Wizard, oop I mean judge. The story will be developing for weeks to come and we will keep you posted, we swear on the Emerald City.

Bradley Morison, Senior Writer

blouhhg pawst numeero wone.

The clouds parted, and two men fell from the sky. They landed in car and began to race through the streets of LA, avoiding gunfire and thrown rocks. Labelled as bandits and misfits, it was them against the world. They bailed out of the car as it was sent flying off the edge of a massive cliff. As they drew their revolvers, they simultaneously made half court baskets at the staples center. These two can achieve the impossible, and for that they were hunted. They ran day and night from people, birds and bears, and the elements as we knew them. They became masters of the night, avoiding even the most potent of hunters. They snuck across the world, and one day came upon a mountain. The mountain had something special about it, and aura of sorts. So they climbed, and for days they climbed, hand over hand, inch by inch. Fighting storms and blizzards, eagles and hurricanes. They fought against the air, as it slowly got thinner and thinner, and themselves, as they craved giving up, but something propelled them farther. Then after what seemed like years, they reached a cloud. A familiar cloud, something they've seen before, so they climbed one more time, on top of the cloud. As they sat breathing loudly, one said to the other: "that was some adventure."

That was the most ridiculous thing i've ever wrote.

Blaug nyumbaa teeiin

I. We've been editing like madmen, i honestly forgot what the world outside of mtn looked like on wednesday because we edited from voices to 5. We have gotten a ton done this week roughly 3/4s of it done. Our beginning has proven troublesome but our middle portion is great. Our interviews are good except for a bit of sound trouble. Otherwise were planning on another long day of editing. We should be done with it all and thrn just tweak on sunday.

II. This poem shows how people tend to alienate those who are percieved as different and scapegoat them. Its really a negative aspect of he human psyche and this poem really makes you think. Overall i likednit a lot, these readings have addressed some key topics that humanity as a whole has to work on.

Blog numba niiiine.

I. Our documentary is still coming along strongly, we had a little hump with the equipment at mtn but our tape is fine so we can continue to move ahead. Just recently got a good interview done and now we just have to finish up our b roll and maybe get one more interview. Otherwise were doing fine were just going to have to stick with it and get things done.

II. I really liked this reading because i feel like today in this modern society the right to freedom of speech can be diminished or even just abused. I also like it because i like seeing someone makig a stand. Its to be respected and it can be compared kindnof to the happenings in madison and in egypt. People can really make a difference if they stand up peacefully and voice their opinion. Freedom of speech is for the world not just the united states.

blog 8

i. were really cranking now, weve accumulated a bunch of b roll and weve got some great  interviews lined up. now thatwe know more about the editing process we should be better prepared this time aroound. its been going great all together.

Blog/Reading Response #7

I. Our trailer is just great. We really came togther at the end and did a lot ofgreat work. We had been editing alot during the week and it really helped us time wise come sunday. We picked outs shots we liked and edited them a bit, then on saturday we went and got some street interviews and they went unbelievably well. We really got some good film. Then it all came togther and we really created somethin great. The things we watched in class actually helped a lot.

II. I lke this poem because it shows that the little things make a difference, or thats whats its getting at. The message is really good and even though in the grand scheme of things its not that huge. I feel like if enough people took this kind of stance towards things that a lot of problems would get that much closer to bein solved.

Blog/Reading #6

I. We spent the end of last week filming some really good b-roll at bryn Mawr meadows and with the skyline in the background we really got some great shots. though our original plan of having two skaters fell through because Simon injured himself, it still worked well and we got some great stuff to use in our trailer and actual documentary. this also gives us the option of using film we won't use in the actual documentary in our trailer, which will keep it fresh and new. Once we find the voice of our trailer, a good spokesperson for our film, we will be perfectly set to create a great trailer.

II. This is a really weird and interesting reading, its written very well, and goes in-depth as to the reasons that they dont want to accept the sixth, and how things came to be between the five of them. You wonder if the five are people, or just a vessel for something else. They could be some kind of metaphor, maybe for our modern society and our reluctance towards new ideas, people and things. I feel like the message isn't as direct as it may seem, and there is a lot more to the "fellowship" then meets the eye.

Blog/Reading Response #5

I. We have a good amount of b-roll and were really beginning to see where were going. We are currently brainstorming for our trailer and i think we all have some good ideas, and we plan on getting a large variety of shots and things such as skating shooting and even just some quiet shots of a rink from various angles and distances. I've been giving a lot of thought on how were going to draw in the viewer and i think i have some good ideas and im interested in what the rest of our group is going to be thinking about this subject. I think were having a good start and our next step is primarily our interviews. We also should get into MTN soon and edit or at least start to organize our shots.

II. I think this is written very well. The way Langston words everything and gives it a questioning tone really makes you think. He address race in a different way then many, and it really strongly projects the equality that all of us human beings on this earth have  or should have. I also find it interesting how he finishes it as you see that its really for an English class and that in reality he's being as truthful as a writer can be. Putting his thoughts on paper.

Blog/Reading #4

I. So were getting our filming done now, and me and simon have gotten our b-roll started, abd got some great footage of the US Pond Hockey tournament on one of the many subzero nights we have had. It looked great, the lighting and enviroment was perfect for or documentary. We have film of people all ages and races coming together for this event, which really embodies the community well. We've got to plan our interviews though becAuse we have some possible people but we havent made the attempt at contacting them and we'll try and get to that this weekend. Thats is all.

II. Though much of this packet is really repeating what a lot of our speakers have said, but i like how they go a little more in depth, getting into how you need to dive below the surface to uncover the complexity of your subject and your subject matter. In order to really find out what your looking for and how people truely feel about the things your asking about i your interviews. You also have be careful not to intrude or maybe offend the interviewed by going to in depth or going to personal. Its going to be interesting to see how to balance an interview.

Blog/Reading Post #3

I. Were really starting to motor now, weve got a couple of days of filming planned out and we got the camera reserved and everything. We need to work on our interviews though. We have yet to clarify with a couple of our contacts on when and where, but we'll get to that soon. The US Pond HOckey tournament is going on right now at Nokomis so you know were bout to get a ton of b-roll there the whole time its all going on. Turns out my dad is a good friend of the founder of the US Pond Hockey tournament so we might have one hell of an interview there. Right now our challenge is finding good characters to interview and finding out what we really want them to talk about and what we want to ask. we've been working together great and things are really getting moving. Im ready to see what we can do.

II. I really find this one interesting. Its really smart to immerse your self into your topic to really get a better idea of whats going on, and though were not necessarily writing scripts, it will still give us a better idea of what we might want to find out and how we want to piece everything together to give the people the feeling their immersed in it as well.  By us researching it deeply, the audience will feel more engaged and like they too are learning about the subject. IT also repeats something we've heard a bit since the beginning of the class, try and do something your interested or curious about, which is good because hockey is something i've always liked but only recently really participated in and really became curious about, which is the correct word to describe it. I'm interested in seeing what the sport means to some people. Through a combination of field study and just research i'm sure not only can i learn a lot, but there is a lot i can teach the audience that they wouldn't have anticipated behind our hometown sport.

Blog/Reading #2

I. We have gotten to planning how were going about our idea. We have gotten a couple contacts and an idea of the research thats going to be needed to get a good amount of strong relevant information that we can use to move the video along. Were doing a good job brainstorming the possible angles our video is going to take, and we even have a couple back ups if accessibility becomes an issue. Also were going to have to work hard to see who all were going to be able to get a hold of. Were working together well and everyone is having good input. Im excited to see what happens when we really get into the documentary production.

II. This article kind of brought to the light the foginess around a documentary in the modern age, because its true that a lot of tv showstoday kind of try and give off the documentary feel, shows like the office and modern family do this, and i suppose its because they want it too feel more real, like this is a real life situation when in reality its just actors acting. Now that i think about it i probably get lost in this perception myself, my brain basically tricking thinki its real. I also liked the broadness they talked about, how like art it has no set guideline, and if there is its really more of a theory, to be critiqued and eventually changed.

Blog/Reading #1

I. So far we havent accomplished much, and findin out what we want to do and what interests us. We've been thinking about doing something sports related, such as hockey and its role in minnesotan heritage or maybe pond hockey or something along those lines. But i think we need to go broader and maybe explore different topics, and brainstorm things that were intersted and passionate about. Im still wondering about what we can do to really grab peoples attention and have them think about our topic. So far we've worked well together and i think we got a good start.

II. I learned a lot about some of the makeshift genre's of sorts, and they really gave me a good idea of just how broad a documentary can be.  The socially critical documentary feels the most powerful to me, because it seems like theses are primarily what we have been viewing in class, and have the ability to really let you look through a window into peoples or maybe just a persons lives. I think that makes them powerful, and makes people get into the documentary. The social aspects of it really seem to draw in the viewer. I was suprised also by the example of documentaries to "project into the future," which was something i would never have even imagined or thought of. But i could see a problem in the future, with really making our documentary into a story, instead of just an informative video. Its going to take a lot of planning and thought to really create something that moves along and keeps the viewer engaged.